How to be a naturally charismatic person

You've probably all heard of charisma, that rare and highly coveted talent that some people around the world have. However, before talking about it, we will have to define it.

What is charisma?

Well, even psychologists and sociologists of all stripes find it difficult to agree on a definition. Put simply, it is the ability to captivate and fascinate an audience with their communication and body language skills, while leaving an impression of confidence and self-control.

Since charisma is based on communication skills, these can be learned and developed. So it is possible to develop your charisma, even if you are starting from scratch.

Now I see some people saying to themselves “But why would I need charisma? I already have a suitable job/activity, I'm not a politician or a celebrity. " or "I am retired / stay-at-home mom, this topic does not interest me!"

Well, it's true when you ask people to think of charismatic people, immediately these are the names of political figures, celebrities, or leaders. However, in your daily life and around you, there are charismatic people.

It could be the popular kid at school, the salesperson who advises you the most on their products, or the office worker who is friends with everyone.

The charisma doesn't end there either. If you could instill confidence and respect in your spouse, your children, your colleagues, your friends while leaving them a more positive impression, wouldn't you have everything to gain from it? And for that, no need to make speeches in front of an audience or engage in elections 

Here are 5 tips to become more charismatic now! 


1. Inspire confidence 

Charisma is not self-confidence, but being confident will certainly make you more charismatic because that self-confidence will allow you to make others comfortable and you will be found to be more capable. 

- If people see you as a confident person, naturally they will want to communicate with you. Here are some tips that will help you appear more confident: Be positive. 

- Don't start a conversation by complaining or criticizing another person, place, or political figure. Instead, focus on what you love, this will allow people to participate and make them want to stay talking with you. Professor Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania in “The Power of Optimism” showed that the majority of people prefer to hang out with optimistic people. 

- If you start by talking about what you hate, people will worry about the negative vibe you generate and walk away for fear it will rub off on them. 

- Speak with confidence. Speaking confidently doesn't mean speaking more than everyone else, or speaking louder than everyone. Say something important and say it with certainty. Speak at an untroubled pace and articulate clearly. Vary your tone, pace, and volume of voice to press down on important words and make your speech more interesting to listen to. 

- To practice speaking with confidence, you can record yourself speaking, and then make sure you perceive that confidence in yourself by listening to yourself again. 

- To appear confident, you must first have confidence in yourself. People who are truly confident love who they are, what they do, and what they look like. 

- If you are not feeling confident, work on your best qualities by putting them forward, seek to correct your flaws, and improve your appearance so that others can see you in the best light. Don't be afraid to discuss topics you are unfamiliar with, stay open and curious, you will be much more communicative and this will show that you have confidence in yourself on subjects of which you do not know anything. 

- If you are already working on your self-confidence, know that a calm and confident voice, clothes that show off you, and suitable body language can go a long way in helping you show others the image of someone confident. 


2. Expressive body language 


Your body language can say a lot about how you see yourself, and it can help you appear more accessible to others. Bad body language can make you seem withdrawn or indecisive, which is why it's important to show that you are confident, determined and that you exist. Here's how to do it: 

- Improve your posture. Nothing shows more confidence than good posture. A charismatic person stands erect and walks with a sure and determined step, without being rigid, even in a room full of strangers. They also gesture with their hands rather than crossing their arms over their chest. 

- When you meet someone, give them a firm handshake and look the person in the eye. Show positive body language when talking to someone or even while waiting. Sit in front of the person (s) you are talking to and uncross your legs and arms, while keeping your hands away from your face. 

- Be comfortable, don't fidget or look nervous. Think about your actions. When you speak, does your body language support you, or does it harm you? Do you seem nervous, cold, or bored? If you are passionate about something, do your gestures communicate it well? 

- Pay attention to your body language, and gradually improve it. Practice in front of a mirror. Look at yourself in a mirror and make a speech or pretend you have a conversation with someone. Where is your gaze going?  Could anyone know what emotion you are displaying without having to listen to your words? Practice regularly and note what needs improvement.

- Mimic the body language of the person you are chatting with, so you get closer to them in terms of non-verbal language. If you're facing someone who has a lot of body movements, you can do the same, while if you're facing a more reserved person, you shouldn't be gesturing too much.

- Pay close attention to the gestures of other people around you. Notice how some speakers' body language seems wrong or out of sync with the message they are trying to convey. These people then appear devious or hesitant. Other speakers, on the contrary, know how to use their body language brilliantly. What they say strikes people and seems more trustworthy, but also more competent. These people are often famous actors, leaders, or experts in their field. 

- Take the time to look at good and bad examples of body language use, and learn.
When you say hello to someone, truly smile can make a big difference in your relationship. Your smile should show that you are happy to meet them and spend time with them. And what's more, it's contagious.


3. Pay attention to others


No matter who you talk to, you should always try to delight the person and make them feel important to you. After you leave you, that person should feel better about themselves.
To exude true charisma, you should be able to talk to anyone on any topic and listen to the person carefully. Here's how to do it:
 
- Be equal to everyone. If you are talking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, a child, a stranger, a disabled, or a poor person, don't put them on a pedestal but don't patronize them either. Be respectful of others, but respect them as equals, and expect them to accept you as such.

- Show a genuine interest in people's lives. Be a little curious, ask people questions about their life, their experiences, or their opinions on certain topics. Make them feel that what they went through is important to you and that you value their thoughts in the discussion. You might indeed think that "people, in general, are not that interesting", but this is just a false belief, everyone always has at least something interesting to tell.

- Listen actively when others are talking, without passing judgment. Give someone your full attention when they're talking to you. Like if you are watching a movie or reading a book in which you are looking to learn more about the main character, don't think about what you are going to answer next, force yourself to take a two-second break after the person has finished. to speak. Concentrate on your breathing, if you feel like you are no longer “present” in the conversation.

- Another basic piece of advice: don't forget to nod your head and make short interjections, like “I see” or “OK”, to reassure the person that you are listening, and that you are interested because of what she has to say. A brief physical contact on the upper arm can also emphasize your agreement or empathy with what the person is saying, and make the person feel more connected to you.

- Learn and remember the names of people you talk to, and address those people by first or last name, once you know them a little. This will allow you to retain them better but also to strengthen the bond you have with these people, it will make them feel privileged. 

- Compliment people once in a while, but do it sincerely, and also gladly accept any compliments given to you without playing fake modesty. Remember, being charismatic doesn't mean trying to please people. Charismatic people don't want to please everyone, and they don't care what other people think of them. The fact that people like them is only an effect of the way they are and how they communicate. 

4. Be dynamic and be witty 


A charismatic person should be able to entertain people without overdoing it. The charismatic can bring people together by telling funny stories or funny anecdotes. You should be able to attract 
people to you, with a keen sense of humor. Here's how to become one: 

- Learn self-derision. If you can laugh at yourself, it will show others that you are confident in your abilities and they will be much more comfortable around you.

- You don't have to belittle yourself to show that you are aware of your flaws, a few anecdotes about your life may be enough. Being able to let others laugh at our failures without being affected is a sign of true charisma. 

- Learn to joke with a wide variety of people. You should be in tune with the sense of humor of the person or group of people you are talking to. However, if you speak with elderly or sensitive people, stick to short, harmless jokes. When you're with someone you don't know, stay light on it. You wouldn't want to risk offending her or having her shut down completely after an indecent joke. 

- Don't try to be funny. You don't have to make jokes every five seconds, remember that the shorter jokes are the best. Aim for quality over quantity and limit yourself to a few jokes throughout a conversation. 

5. Become exciting 


To be truly charismatic you not only have to impress, attract, and listen to others, but you also have to be good at engaging people, always having something interesting to say. In this way, some people will naturally gravitate towards you. Here's how you do so:

- Cut down on your discussions of rain and shine and try to make every word useful, thinking about the wording of your sentences before you say them. 

- If you don't have anything important to say, stay silent. It may sound surprising, but the less you say, the more important what you say.

- Be connected with your emotions. Research has shown that people who are perceived as charismatic have strong feelings about their emotions and can be affected by the emotions of others but not overwhelmed by them. 

- Say what you think/feel. People generally tend to hide their thoughts and feelings from others without any bad intentions, but at the same time, everyone enjoys chatting with a really honest person. 

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